Bleaching a Banana Brand Computer
by amazinglion29
Summary: One day, a computer with a banana on it just dropped from the sky and onto Rukia's head. Curious, she asks Ichigo to explain the contraption and then begins to surf the web. When she finds a site called Fanfiction dot net, the trauma and insanity begins. I am taking requests for chapters!
1. This is only the Beginning

ing to use other peoples fanfictions because I don't want to make fun of them and get the creator of that fanfiction upset, so I'll be creating my own and putting them in here.

Chapter 1: Grammer and Misspelling

Grammar and misspelling are purposeful in this chapter, and I promise it won't happen in any other chapter!

Rukia exited Urahara Shop and sighed, dissapointed that her chappy request hadn't come in yet.

"Oh well," she started and began making her way towards Kurosaki Clinic, "it's bound to come in soon."

As she was walking, something suddenly klonked onto her head, causing her to fall.

"Ow!" She cried out, sitting up and rubbing her head.

She looked at what suddenly fell from the sky and blinked in confusion. There on the ground in front of her was a computer with a blue, glowing banana symbol on the lid.

She raised an eyebrow at it and picked it up, turning it over to get a look at it. She opened the lid and saw a bunch of buttons. Suddenly interested in the strange object, she tucked it under her arm and stood, walking a little quicker towards Kurosaki Clinic.

When she got to the clinic, she raced up the stairs and into the room of the orange haired teen. Said teen was just laying on his bed and cracked an eye open when a curious looking Rukia sat down at his desk.

"Ichigo, explain how to work this thing," Rukia commanded as she opened the lid.

"How come I have to do it?" Ichigo grumbled and got out of bed.

"Because you're the only one here at the clinic today and I'm interested in how this thing works."

Ichigo looked over her shoulder and pressed the power button.

"Come to think of it, where did you get a computer?" Ichigo asked out of curiosity.

"It fell out of sky and hit me on my head," she replied and pointed to the top of her head.

"Yeah, like that's believable." Ichigo grumbled under his breath. Rukia then proceeded to klonk him on the head.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?!" Ichigo shouted at the petite woman.

"That's for not believing me and because you have yet to explain how this 'computer' thing works." Rukia stated and gave Ichigo a pointed look.

"Jeez, you could of just reminded me," Ichigo said with a sigh and proceeded to explain how to use a computer. "Alright, I have a mouse I could plug into it," Ichigo stated and grabbed a mouse from out of one of his drawers.

"That surely doesn't look like a mouse, Ichigo." Rukia furrowed her eyebrows at the 'mouse' and stared at Ichigo in question.

"This isn't an animal, Rukia," Ichigo replied while pointing to the screen. "It just moves this cursor on the screen so you can open up different files."

"How do you open up files on this thing?" She questioned.

"You would go to this file looking button on the bottom and right click the cursor. Then, you just go to whichever file you saved a document to or downloaded a picture from the internet to."

"What is this 'internet'?"

Ichigo sighed and moved the cursor to the globe on the bottom of the screen. "This here is the internet. You right click on it and you can look up things that have to do with just about anything." Ichigo stated.

"Anything?" Rukia asked in bewilderment, soaking up every last detail given to her by Ichigo.

"Yeah, you just go to the search engine at the top, click it, and type in whatever you want to search with the keyboard." Ichigo demonstrated by typing in 'Karakura High School' and pressed the enter bar. Rukia looked with facination as a ton of links appeared on the screen and a picture of Karakura High appeared on the right side of the screen.

"Wow..." Rukia breathed out and leaned forward in her seat.

"You think that you can handle it?" Ichigo asked. Rukia nodded her head and Ichigo resumed laying on his bed and resting his eyes.

Rukia sat there for a while, typing away on the computer. She seemed entranced on the contraption, not wanting to leave it. Ichigo wasn't bothered by it though, because it kept her from asking him a ton of questions.

Ichigo was about to finally doze off when Rukia called out for him.

"Hey, Ichigo, get a look at this."

Ichigo grumbled under his breath and walked behind Rukia, peering at the computer screen.

"Yeah, what is it?" He asked.

"I just found this site called Fanfiction dot net and I've been reading some of these 'fanfictions' when I found a slightly disturbing category. Apparently, they have a whole section about us."

"What do you mean by 'us'?" Ichigo asked skeptically, narrowing his eyes at the screen.

"This whole section includes everyone from the Soul Society, Hueco Mundo, and the World of the Living." She replied.

"Have you read anything yet?" He asked, suddenly interested in this new discovery.

"No, I just found it. Let's see here..." she scrolled through the list and clicked on one. "Here, this seems interesting."

 **Deaths Bed**

 **By: Incestlover**

"That's gross!" Ichigo stated, repulsed by the author's name.

"Why would someone even put that as their username?" Rukia shuddered and continued to read the story aloud.

 **Summary: She was on deaths bed-**

"Yes, as if we hadn't gathered that after reading the title two seconds ago." Ichigo sarcastically stated.

 **-how else could this stoey begin? After everything that had happened, she wanted to tell him. Everything. Before it was too late.**

"Who wanted to tell who everything?" Rukia asked. "I'm curious."

"Yeah, so am I." Ichigo stated. "Keep reading."

 **A/N-**

"What does that mean?" Ichigo asked.

"I think it means 'Authors Note', though I'm not completely sure."

 **-Hey peeps! Hows it gong? I fin and I just wated to giv u guys somthig awsom to reed!**

"There's a lot of spelling mistakes." Rukia mumbled.

"Jeez! If you're gonna be an author, then spell things right!" Ichigo shouted at the screen.

 **This wil be a byaruki pareing, so hop u enjoi!**

"What is byaruki?" Rukia asked.

"That's not even a word, but I guess we'll find out." Ichigo grumbled, annoyed from the lack of grammar and spelling.

 **She coffed-**

"Oh come on!" Ichigo shouted in frustration.

 **-her throte raw. Blod splatterred into her hand, tanting her scin a dark red colr.**

"This is so freaking stupid!" Ichigo shouted and slapped his hands against the desk. "Why on earth would this author post this when there are so many spelling mistakes?! What is he, five years old?"

"It's not nice to insult an author Ichigo." Rukia scolded, glaring at the teen. "Besides, aren't you even the slightest bit curious as to who this person is?"

Ichigo sighed but said nothing, allowing Rukia access to the floor.

 **She didt knw how it hapend, but she caght the sam ilness her deer captan had. Tho this tim, it was much wors.**

"It's obviously someone from the thirteenth division." Rukia stated confidently.

"Kiyone, maybe?" Ichigo asked her.

"More than likely, but I wouldn't know why she'd be dieing or how she caught Captain Ukitake's tuberculosis." Rukia replied.

 **it was more dedly and nothig could cur it.**

 **Captan Unhana told her that she wood be bed riden until somthig sould cur it.**

"The audacity of this author!" Rukia shouted. "He could at least have learned how to spell the names of the captains of the Gotei thirteen!"

"Jeez, Rukia, chill." Ichigo stated, getting a glare from the shorter female.

"Like you're one to talk." She spat out.

 **Tho trufly, they all new that woodnt happen. So now she laid on a footon in the Kuchki Manner-**

"How dare he!" Rukia growled out. "He even spelt the noble Kuchiki name wrong!"

"You're not even wondering why Kiyone is resting on a futon in your house?" Ichigo sweat dropped, shaking his head.

 **-starring up at the seeling. She could fel the rest ov her life sliping away, but she klung to it stil. She had won more thig she wated to do.**

"Is this it?" Ichigo asked.

"Shhhh!" Rukia silenced him. "Let's keep reading and find out."

 **"Byakuya..." she wisperred, her voice horse from her coffing.**

"Nii-sama?" Rukia asked quizzically, tilting her head in confusion.

"I'm more surprised by the fact that the author spelt Byakuya's name right." He was then punched in the back of the head. "Ow! What was that for?!"

 **She felt a hand slip into hers and she tuned her hed slowy. She saw the hansom fase of her broter and smild a litle.**

"What?" Rukia choked out, her eyes widening at the screen.

"So it's not Kiyone. What do you need to tell Byakuya so badly?" Ichigo asked, looking in question at the shorter girl.

"How am I supposed to know?" Rukia asked, a bewildered look on her face.

"Then how come you never told me that you had tuberculosis?!" Ichigo shouted at her.

Rukia klonked the top of his head.

"You idiot! I don't have tuberculosis! The signs would have been clear as day if I did!"

 **She dint even take notic of the fact she hant sensed his spirit pressur next to her.**

 **"Wat is it, Rukia?" Byakuya assed, starring down at his dying sister.**

Ichigo burst out laughing, clutching his stomach.

"Nii-sama doesn't talk like that!" Rukia shouted, her face turning red from anger.

"Hahaha! It said he 'assed'! Hahaha! How the hell do you 'ass' somebody? Hahaha- Ow! What was that for, you stupid midget!" Ichigo shouted, holding his arm.

"That's for making fun of Nii-sama."

 **"I hav... somthig I want to... tel u..." she wrassped out. She weekly brout his hand to her fase. "Mmmm... Byakuya?" She assed meekley.**

"Are you eating your brothers hand?!" Ichigo asked incredulously, earning another punch in the arm.

"I'm not a cannibal, you idiot!"

 **"Go on, Rukia."**

 **"I luv u..."**

"Well that escalated quickly."

"Can you just shut up Ichigo?! I'm obviously letting him know that I appreciate him being my brother before I die!"

 **"I luv u to, Rukia." Byakuya replide.**

 **"Mmmm... no... I luv u... as if we wer mor than just siblings...-**

"I'm really not liking where this is going." Rukia breathed out, her eyes widening in fear.

 **-I luv u as if u wer my luver..." her iyes begn to drop and her hold on Byakuyas hand losend.**

"No no no!" Rukia stated quickly. "Don't die!"

"Are you serious Rukia?" Ichigo asked and stared in shock at the screen in front of him. "You just said that you loved Byakuya as if you were more than siblings and that's what you're worried about?!"

"Shut up you idiot so I can keep reading!"

 **"Rukia..." Byakuya sad, titening his grip on his ssister's hand.**

Ichigo stared worriedly at Rukia as she leaned forward in anticipation.

 **She onky managed to hum in respons.**

 **"I luv u the sam way."**

"Nii-sama..." Rukia whispered in shock and covered her mouth, pink tainting her cheeks.

"I never knew Byakuya actually felt like that." Ichigo asked. "It's probabky because you look so much like your sister."

Rukia gained a tick mark on her forehead and clenched her lips, not replying to Ichigo's snide remark.

 **With that, Byakuya presed his lips to hers and they kised until Rukia's hamd fel limpy from his.**

Silence. The words were still being processed in their minds and they stared at the screen in a trance.

"What... just happened?" Ichigo asked, unsure of what they just read.

"I don't know," Rukia slowly replied, "but it would have been a lot nicer had the author spelt all the words right."

"Well," Ichigo stated, sighing and scratching the back of his neck, "at least we know the meaning behind the authors name."

"So... what do we do now?" Rukia asked. "Should we read more of these 'fanfictions'?"

Ichigo stared warily at the computer, seemingly untrusting of the device.

"I don't know Rukia. These fanfictions seem really dangerous."

Their decision was never completely made because at that moment, a figure came in through Ichigo's window. The figure walked up next to the two and greeted them.

"Hey Rukia. Hey Ichigo."


	2. Sleeping in Ichigo's Underwear Drawer

te from two different people, I have an IchiRen pairing up!

Chapter 2: Sleeping in Ichgo's Underwear Drawer

"Why the hell did you come in through my window Renji!?" Ichigo shouted, pointing at said man in question.

"Well, it was open so I invited myself in." Renji replied and easily avoided a punch in the face.

"It doesn't give you a damn right to just barge into my house!" Ichigo shouted back.

"You both need to stop arguing like children." Rukia demanded, hitting them both upside the head.

"What are you even doing here, Renji?" Ichigo asked as he nursed the newly forming bump on the top of his head.

"Captain Kuchiki wanted to know why Rukia hadn't returned to the Soul Society yet and sent me to investigate." Renji replied smoothly.

"Well I'm not some baby that needs to be looked after." Rukia stated and glared at Renji. "Besides, I found this computer and this is what's holding me up on my return to the Soul Society."

"What the hell is a computer and what's so significant about it?" Renji asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's something that can find all kinds of information about pretty much anything." Rukia stated with a triumphant smirk. It made her feel good to know about something that her friend didn't. "The reason why it's so significant is because I found this website called Fanfiction dot net that holds a bunch of stories that people post on here. I found a section on this site dedicated to stories about us and we just finished reading one of the fanfictions." Rukia shuddered at the memory and Ichigo flinched.

"Really? Seems interesting." Renji said and sat down in the chair Rukia was previously sitting in. "Uh, so how do you work this thing?" He asked.

Ichigo sighed and explained it the same way he did with Rukia. Renji nodded along and listened until Ichigo finished.

"Okay, I think I get it." Renji mumbled and began to surf through the fanfictions.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Rukia asked Ichigo as she stared at Renji.

"You're the one who wanted to keep on reading them, so I don't know why you're worried now." Ichigo stated.

"Hey guys, I think I found one." Renji said and waved them over.

"It better have good spelling, or I'm gonna flip." Ichigo grumbled and walked over.

 **Warfront**

 **By: Red66666666**

"Okay, the username is a little bit more reasonable I guess." Rukia stated and blinked at the screen.

"Yeah, but ars all those sixes necessary?" Ichigo asked and sighed.

"You make it sound like you've read one of these before." Renji said, earning a punch in the arm from Rukia.

"Were you not listening at all earlier?"

 **Summary: He was out on the battlefield fighting the Hollow Army. Little did he know that his wife and children were waiting for his return. This will be an Ichiren pairing!**

"Last time that a word that wasn't a word showed up, the story didn't go too well." Ichigo stated, earning a curious glance from Renji.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked.

"Just dont worry about it and keep reading." Rukia commanded, sending a pointed look at Ichigo.

 **"Kenichi! Torio! Maiyami! Lunch is ready!" Renji shouted-**

"Ha! Now Renji gets to enjoy a little bit of torture." Rukia smirked evily.

 **-up the stairs after setting the table. He soon heard three sets of footsteps coming down the stairs and was nearly run over by his kids.**

"Since when did I have any kids?" Renji asked, slightly taken aback.

"That's what I was going to ask you." Ichigo said. "So who's the lucky girl?" Ichigo teased.

"I'm not dating anyone you stupid strawberry!" Renji shouted at him.

"Do you wanna find my fist in your face pineapple head?!" Ichigo shouted, getting ready to punch Renji in the face.

"Both of you shut up and start trying to act like civilized people!"

 **"Hey! What did I tell you about running in the house?" Renji scolded, pointing a spatula at the three children sitting at the table.**

"Hahahaha! Since when did you hold a spatula instead of your zanpakuto!" Ichigo asked, laughing really hard and clutching the back of the chair.

"I dont hold a spatula!" Renji shouted at him. "I don't even know how to cook!"

"You both are imbeciles." Rukia stated and shook her head. "Just keep reading Renji."

 **"Not to run in the house because we could hurt ourselves or break something." The two males and young female replied.**

"I'm surprised Renji." Rukia stated. "You actually have people following your orders."

"People follow my orders all the time!" Renji nearly shouted in an exasperated manner.

"Yeah," Ichigo says with a slight chuckle, "only because you're a lieutenant."

"Shut up!" Renji shouts at the both of them.

 **"Good. Now after you eat, I want you to wash up and pick up your rooms. Your father-**

"Aren't you their father, Renji?" Rukia asked.

"Yeah, I should be." Renji stated, slightly confused by the author's choice of words.

"Man!" Ichigo shouted, gripping his hair with his hands. "These authors need to start getting their priorities straight!"

 **-is going to be home soon and I don't want him coming home to a dirty house." Renji commanded, earning a few gasps from his children.**

 **"Daddy's coming home?" Maiyami asked, a bright smile covering her features.**

"You know, I'm already at home." Renji growled out and his eye twitched.

 **"That means the Shinigami beat the Hollow Army!" Kenichi and Torio stated happily, their twin features brightening.**

"So now it appears that you had twins and you didn't even tell me!" Rukia growled and punched Renji. "I'm supposed to be their aunt you pineapple!"

"Damn it Rukia, I would have told you if I had any kids! So stop hitting me!" Renji shouted and shielded himself from another one of Rukia's punches.

"Who's acting like a child now?" Ichigo chuckled, earning a punch from Rukia.

"You're the one acting like a child, you idiot!" Rukia shouted at Ichigo.

 **"That's right." Renji said with a smile as he began to wash the dishes. "So let's welcome him home with open arms and a clean house."**

 **"Can I help you, mommy?" Maiyami asked Renji,-**

"Why the hell are they calling me mommy?!" Renji shouted and slammed his hands on the desk beside the computer.

"Beats me." Ichigo states.

Neither of them noticed the evil smirk that appeared on Rukia's face and she laughed silently to herself.

 **-pushing a chair up to the sink. Renji smiled and nodded his head.**

"I'm not even questioning why my daughter called me mommy?!" Renji shouts in question.

"So you admit that you do have kids!" Ichigo clarified after Renji's outburst.

"No you idiot, I don't have any kids!"

"That's alright Renji," Rukia said with a scarily calm voice. "I'm pretty sure we'll find out the reason why they call you mommy soon enough."

 **"Don't see why not. Let's put that pretty head of orange hair into a ponytail so you can rinse them and put them in the dishwasher."**

"Orange hair?" Renji questions aloud.

"Orihime, maybe?" Rukia asks.

"If it's Orihime," Ichigo started as a darkened aura surrounded him, "I swear I will kill you."

"I would never do that to Orihime!" Renji shouted as his face turned slightly red. "M-Maybe it's Rangiku! She has orange hair too!"

 **He dried his hands and began to skim them through Maiyami's hair, putting it up in a high ponytail with his extra hair ribbon.**

"You wear ribbons in your hair?" Ichigo asked, staring at Renji's tied up hair.

"No, he wears a hair tie, not a ribbon." Rukia countered.

"Gee, this author really needs to know how not to write about something that isn't even true."

"That sentance sounded like a mouthful." Ichigo stated.

"Just shut up, will you?!" Renji shouted.

"Can all of you shut up?! I've been trying to sleep for the past fifteen minutes and all I keep hearing is yelling!" Kon shouted, popping out of Ichigo's underwear drawer.

"What the hell are you doing in my underwear drawer?!" Ichigo asks, pulling the stuffed animal out of it.

"It's a comfortable place to sleep. You have a nice brand of underwear in there."

Ichigo then threw Kon on the ground and began to stomp on his face.

"Ow ow ow ow!"

 **She smiled and turned to her older twin brothers as she stood on the chair.**

 **"I'm the boss now!-**

"Will you stop stepping on me?!" Kon shouted at Ichigo.

"You were sleeping in my underwear!" Ichigo shouted back.

"No, I was sleeping on your underwear!" Kon countered.

Ichigo rubbed his heel on Kons face, causing the stuffed animal to scream.

"What difference does that make?!"

"Will you both just shut up?!" Rukia shouted, punching Ichigo and kicking Kon.

"Yeah, will you?" Renji asked. "I want to know why Maiyami suddenly thinks that she's the boss."

 **-So big brother Kenichi and big brother Torio must clean up my room for me so daddy can be proud of me!" Maiyami demanded, pointing a finger at her two brothers who were still sitting at the table.**

"She definately sounds like your daughter Renji." Rukia stated matter-of-factly.

"I'm not even going to try anymore." Renji sighed in defeat.

 **In response, both Kenichi and Torio slam their fists on the table in exasperation.**

 **"Mom!" They both shouted and look at Renji.**

"Why the hell do they keep on calling me mom?!" Renji shouted in an agitated manner.

"Probably because you gave birth to them." Kon suggested.

"Ha ha, very funny." Renji growled out. "But just so you know, it's impossible for a male to give birth to children.

 **"I don't think I can do anything. I mean, Maiyami is the boss, so you better listen to her." Renji stated, smirking at the red headed boys.**

"Since when did you start allowing your kids to rule over the house?" Ichigo asks Renji.

"You're such an irresponsible parent." Rukia stated soon after.

"Like you would be any better." Ichigo grumbled, earning a kick in the stomach from Rukia. "Ow! I swear I'm going to have bruises all over my body because of you!"

"Then you shouldn't make fun of Nee-san!" Kon shouted.

 **"That's not fair!" They grumbled out at the same time.**

 **"Now who ever told you that life was fair? Because I sure as hell never told that to you." A male voice said, setting his hands on top of the eleven year old boys heads.**

"So the author is still sticking with this?" Ichigo asked.

"Maybe they put the pineapple with a guy and that's what the author has been hinting the entire time." Kon stated as he sat on Rukia's shiulder.

"I sure as hell ain't gay, so I don't know why the author would have the impulse to do such a thing." Renji pointed out.

 **"Dad!" "Daddy!" The three kids shouted happily and jumped at the orange headed man.**

"They couldn't possibly be talking about..." Rukia started, staring between Ichigo and Renji as the color from their faces began to drain.

"See! I told you the author was pairing you with a guy!" Kon called out in victory.

"Just shut up!" Renji and Ichigo shouted at the stuffed animal.

"Can I please not read the rest of this?" Renji pleaded, looking at Rukia and Ichigo desperately.

"I read mine all the way to the end, and I think that one was much worse." Rukia replied without mercy.

 **"Hey guys! Hiw have you been?" He asked, hugging all three of his kids.**

 **They all start to bombard him with stories and questions and he just shook his head, chuckling.**

 **A pair of arms wrapped around the newcomer from behind and a head rested on his shoulder.**

"That's not fair!" Rukia shouted in dismay. "You never gave me any back hugs!"

"Why would I give you a back hug?" Renji asked in confusion.

"Because we're friends and friends hug each other. Or is a hug too girly for you, lieutenant?" She asked with narrowed eyes.

 **The war hero turned around in the embrace and stared at Renji lovingly.**

 **"Hello, beautiful."-**

"That can't possibly be me." Ichigo stated and glared at the computer. "I don't talk like that."

"True, that would be out of character for you." Rukia agreed.

"Then who else do we know has orange hair?" Renji asked.

 **-the newcomer said and inched his lips closer to Renji's.**

 **Renji closed the gap,-**

"I've never even kissed anybody before!" Renji shouted in anger.

"Yet you seem so expeeienced." Rukia stated, narrowing her eyes at her red headed friend.

 **-capturing the soft lips in his own. When he pulled away, he nuzzled the orange headed man's jawline.**

 **"Mmm... welcome home, Ichigo."-**

Ichigo and Renji paled a bit more after hearing that. Ichigo so much that he looked like his inner hollow with orange hair.

"Uhuh," Kon started and pointed at the two males, "told you that you'd be paired together."

"I didn't know you guys swung that way." Rukia stated with a smirk.

"Y-you mean that it's not Rangiku?" Renji stuttered out. "Are you sure it's not a mistake?"

"Well read the damn story and you'll find out!" Kon shouted.

"I don't think I want to anymore!" Rsnji shouted back and gripped the sides of his head.

"Stop being a wuss and read the story Renji." Rukia commanded.

 **-Renji stated softly and looked up at his husband.**

 **"Ewww!" The kids all said at th e same time.**

"I agree with the kids!" Ichigo shouted, pointing a finger at Renji. "I'm not gay! And even if I were, I'd never fall for a red headed idiot!"

"Are you implying something, strawberry?" Renji asked, glaring at Ichigo.

"Yes. I am." Ichigo growled out.

"Oh pleass, do tell." Renji snapped, still glaring at the tesn.

"Both of you just shut up!" Ruki snapped, kicking the both of them. "Your voices are getting really annoying!"

 **Kenichi threw a chair cushion at his parents.**

 **"Get a room!" Both he and Torio said.**

"Highly unlikely." Ichigo growled out.

 **Both parents chuckled and turned towards their kids.**

 **"Why dont you kids go play for a while, while your mother and I talk."-**

"About getting a divorce." Renji stated directly after reading that, gaining a nod of approval from Ichigo.

 **-Ichigo said, gaining quick nods of approval as the children ran out of the house.**

 **"And don't talk to strangers!"**

"Now that is what you call a responsible parent, Renji." Rukia said.

"You're just trying to get under my skin, aren't you?" Renji bit out.

"I think we've already dug pretty deep." Ichigo stated.

"That sentance sounded really wrong because of what we're reading, Ichigo." Rukia stated with a deadpanned look.

 **Both parents sat in the living room, Renji sitting comfortably in Ichigo's lap.**

"Cue the gag reflex." Ichigo shuddered.

"You're not the only one gaging." Renji replied.

 **They silently enjoyed each other's presence and Renji sighed in content.**

 **"What is it, Renji?" Ichigo asked, nuzzling at Renji's neck.**

 **"I have a surprise for you, Ichigo."**

"Aww, how romantic." Rukia gushed and wrapped her arms arounsd their necks. "So what did you get him? A box of chocolates?"

"How about we read the damn story and find out?" Ichigo asked, wrestling his body out of Rukia's grasp.

 **Renji said and moved one of Ichigo's hands to his stomach.**

 **"Guess what? I'm pregnant again."**

Renji shot up from the chair he was sitting in and ran to the open window. Ichigo was right behind him and they threw their heads out the window. The sounds of the men throwing up reached Rukia's ears and she flinched, but smirked.

"While you guys finish throwing up, I'll read the rest of it so you guys can find out how it ends."

"No, please!" Ichigi shouted as he continued to throw up.

"Make it stop!" Renji pleaded, coughing and trying not to throw up anymore.

 **"Really?" Ichigo asked, a little shocked. Then a bright smile crosssd his features. "That's great! I can't wait 'till the little guy's born."**

"Stop it!" Ichigo shouted, stumbling back from the window. "This is torture!"

"I thought we were friends, Rukia!" Renji shouted as he began to throw up again.

"We are friends, and me reading this to the both of you will strengthen our friendship." Rukia replied.

"How the hell does that even work?!"

 **Renji leaned back and kissed his husband.**

 **"I love you, Ichigo."**

 **"I love you too, Renji."**

Ichigo found himself running back to the window and throwing up again.

Kon was laughing at Ichigo's pain and Rukia just shook her head at her friends weakness.

"I would ask to come in, but this sight isn't at all beautiful."

"What the hell happened to you guys?"

"Third seat Madarame, Fifth seat Ayasegawa, what are you doing here?" Rukia asked the newcomers that stood a bit of a ways from the window.


	3. I'm I'm a Rukia!

"Well, Renji had escaped from his paperwork for a while and captain Kuchiki doesn't like it when his subordinates don't get their task done quickly." Ikkaku replied. "So he asked us to come and get you guys just in case any back up was needed."

"It appeared the only think that needs to be backed up are the two men throwing up out of the window." Yumichika said, repulsed by the sight.

"Well, I think I'm done throwing up anyway." Ichigo stated, walking back inside. "My whole breakfast has already gone out the window. I'm going to go brush my teeth because they feel nasty. You guys can come in if you want." He called out to the squad eleven members.

"We will as soon as Renji stops throwing up like a baby." Ikkaku replied.

"Who are you calling a baby?" Renji growled out, glaring at Ikkaku.

"It was just a way to make you stop throwing up, so don't get your panties twisted in a knot." Ikkaku replied smoothly, entering Ichigo's room.

"What have you guys been doing here, anyway?" Yumichika asked as he looked around Ichigo's room.

"We've been reading fanfiction that's scarily about us." Renji replied as he led them to the computer. "So far, it's been nothing but torture."  
"Torture, you say?" Yumichika asked. "It doesn't sound very beautiful, ans it seems to have made you look even uglier than before."

"I'm ugly?" Renji asked, glaring at Yumichika. "Go look in a mirror and you'll find out what true ugliness looks like."

"I'll have you know that I know I'm beautiful, but I'm not a narcissist who stares at himself in a mirror all day!"

"Really?" Ikkaku asked, furrowing his eyebrows at his friend. "I thought that you stared in the mirror every morning."

"That's beside the point at the moment." Rukia butted in, drawing their attention towards her. "Do you guys want to know what fanfiction is or not?"

"Sure." Ikkaku said. "It can't be that bad."

"Maybe Yumichika should give it a go first." Renji cautioned, nudging said male towards the chair. "He'd most likely find a decent fanfiction."

"Fine, but if I get wrinkles it's all your fault." Yumichika said, taking a seat in the chair. "So how do you work this thing?"

"Since Ichigo isn't nere, I'll explain." Rukia said. After explaining how to work the contraption, she left Yumichika to searching for a good fanfiction.

As Yumichika was searching, Ichigo walked back into the room. He noticed the male sitting in the chair and groaned.

"Why do we have to read another one? I've had enough already."

"We've only read two, so I don't know why you're complaining." Rukia stated.

"Yeah, two too many." Ichigo grumbled.

"Oh, look." Yumichika called out. "I've found the perfect one."

Soon, everyone was crowded around the computer and listening it Yumichika read.

 **Beauty of a Body**

 **By: Toshiiscute!**

"Wow." Ikkaku stated as he began to laugh. "Captain Hitsugaya has fan girls! This is priceless!"

"Well, he is kinda kawaii, I'll admit that." Ichigo said, sighing.

"How so?" Rukia asked.

"Well, just him getting angry is kinda funny, since he does look like a child throwing a fit."

"Well, it does make sense, just keep reading and hope for the best." Renji huffed, kinda scared already.

 **Summary: Everyone needs their beauty sleep, but not everyone is beautiful while sleeping.**

 **Well, after a certain event, the ugly become beautiful or handsome and the beautiful become even more beautiful.**

"Of course you'd pick a story that involves the word 'beauty' in it." Ikkaku stated.

"You have to admit, I will go with beauty any day." Yumichika stated with a smirk.

"The summary is a little reassuring, I guess." Rukia whispered before shuddering at the memory of the first two they read.

"Has everyone completely forgotten me?!" Kon shouted as he jumped on top of Rukia's head.

"No," Ichigo started, picking up Kon and throwing him out the open window, "but no one wants you here!"

 **Defeating the Arrancar took a toll on everyone.**

"We defeat the Arrancar? Awesome!" Ichigo shouted.

"I didn't know that these fanfictions could tell the future." Renji stated in shock.

Ikkaku smirked. "This is already interesting and we've only gotten in one sentence."

 **Most were still recovering while others were healing and repairing both the real and fake Karakura Town.**

"Fake Karakura Town?" Ichigo asked. "Why the hell would we need a fake Karakura Town?"

"Just what is Aizen planning?" Rukia asked aloud.

 **Seven people in particular were resting in Urahara Shop. In fact, they were all sleeping.**

"Yeah, as if we didn't know that from the summary." Ikkaku pointed out blankly.

"I didn't know they were sleeping." Renji stated, just to prove Ikkaku wrong.

"Are you that naive?" Yumichika asked.

"Just shut up and keep reading." Renji growled, mad that he couldn't prove the man wrong.

 **Their wounds were completely healed, so they just needed to wake up.**

 **Ichigo Kurosaki-**

"Not me again!" Ichigo shouted in dismay and gripped his head.

 **Renji Abarai-**

"This is so not fair! I was in the last one!"

 **Rukia Kuchiki-**

"Why am I involved in this?" Rukia whined in exasperation.

 **Orihime Inoue, Rangiku Matsumoto-**

"My precious valley nee-sama's are included!" Kon shouted, barging into the room.

"If you stay quiet, I won't throw you out of the window again." Ichigo stated, glaring at the stuffed animal.

 **Yumichika Ayasegawa-**

"Of course I would be included." Yumichika said, flipping his hair lightly. "I am the most beautiful Soul Reaper in all of the Seireitei."

"Are you sure about that?" Kon asked.

"What did I say about talking Kon?" Ichigo growled and threw the stuffed animal out the window.

 **and Toshiro Hitsugaya-**

"Toshiro?" Ichigo asked, scratching the back of his head.

"It's probably because of his white hair." Rukia said. "It does make him look kinda cute."

"You can't forget his height." Renji said, earning a punch from Rukia.

"He's one of your commanding officers, so show some respect!"

 **were the seven residing in the back of the shop.**

 **Their bodies began to glow bright: light blue for Ichigo-**

"Why light blue?" Ikkaku asked. "It should be orange to match his hair." He chuckled and moved to the side slightly as a fist was brought near his head.

"Ichigo!" Renji and Rukia shouted in surprise by the boys actions.

"Don't bring my hair into this." The teen growled out.

"Ichigo has never cared about what people said about his hair before." Rukia stated in astonishment.

"It's probably the fanfictions." Renji stated and struggled to keep Ichigo from punching Ikkaku. "He's been attacked once already."

"This is quite a dangerous site." Rukia mumbled.

 **red for Renji-**

"At least mine matches my hair and spiritual pressure." Renji stated.

"Are you sure it's not because of your love for fighting?" Ikkaku asks.

"I'm not some war manic like all you squad eleven members!" Renji shouted at Ikkaku.

"Would you please quiet down and stop being pathetic?" Yumichika asks.

 **purple for Rukia, yellow for Orihime, gray for Rangiku-**

"Rangiku would totally be ranting right about now." Ikkaku said and chuckled at the thought.

"Yeah," Renji said and stared to chuckle, "saying, 'Oh gray is totally for old people! It wouldn't look good on me at all and a beautiful young body shouldn't be decorated in such an unadorned color!'"

 **hot pink for Yumichika, and white for Toshiro.**

 **When their bodies stopped glowing, they had changed. Not even five minutes later, they began stirring on their futons.**

"But how did I change!?" Rukia asks, shouting and slamming her hands on the desk beside Yumichika.

"Sheesh, Kuchiki, calm down." Ikkaku stated in a laid back manner.

"Calm down? How can I calm down when I don't know what happened to me!" She shouted and gripped the sides of her head.

 **"What happened?" A female voice asked, placing a hand on the side of her face. Her long orange hair it itched at her back and she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.**

 **"Inoue?" Another female voice called out?**

 **"What is it?" A light male voice replied-**

"Eh, it's just a typo." Renji said, waving it off.

"Yeah, like it was a typo last time." Ichigo scoffed.

"Well, I'm sure of it this time!" Renji shouted.

"Both of you knock it off!" Rukia said and hit them upside the head. "I'm sure this author just accidentally made a mistake. She doesn't seem like that kind of person."

"Yeah, we'll see about that." Ichigo mumbled, nursing the would on his head.

"Just what the hell are you guys talking about?" Ikkaku asked.

"It's nothing." Rukia waved it off and continued to listen to ths story.

 **looking around to find the source of the voice.**

 **"Gaah!" A female voice shouted, pointing a finger at the six in the room with her. Her red hair fell over her shoulders as she stood up quickly.**

 **"Who the hell are you guys?!"**

"Who do we know that has red hair and is a girl?" Yumichika asks. "I probably wouldn't have noticed her if she wasn't pretty."

"Nobody." Ikkaku replied.

"Exactly, see what I mean?" Ichigo asked, inching towards the door of his room. "It isn't a typo. It isn't a typo!"

Rukia grabbed him by the collar and brought him away from the door.

"Rukia? What the hell are you doing? Let me go!" Ichigo shouted and tried to get away from her.

"If we have to endure it, so do you."

 **There was a girl with long orange hair and soft brown eyes looking around in confusion.**

 **Another girl with mid white length white hair and teal eyes just looked really annoyed.**

 **A purple headed female began to admire herself with her purple eyes.**

 **A male with shortish back hair and purplish blue eyes gained a tick mark on his head.**

 **There were two orange headed males with blue eyes that blinked in confusion at the commotion.**

 **A red headed female with red eyes was the one who shouted the question.**

"That sounds like..." Ikkaku started, his eyes widening in realization.

"The looks of all seven people in the room, but with different genders." Rukia stated, her eyes widening.

"Why the hell is this a gender swap story?!" Renji shouted, ready to destroy the computer.

"Renji, sheath your zanpakuto this instant!" Rukia shouted. "That is my computer and I won't let you destroy it!"

~Elsewhere in a parallel universe~

"Hey mom!" A teenage girl shouts across the house.

"What is it honey?"

"Do you know what happened to my computer? It was on the coffee table before before I ate!"

"Your dad probably took it to work today!"

~Back to Ichigo's Room~

"Didn't you say that you found it?" Ichigo asks her.

"Well well," Ikkaku whistles, "Kuchiki stole something? This ain't gonna sit well with your brother." He smirked.

"Watch it baldy." Rukia seethed. "It fell on top of my head so I brought it here. I'd never disgrace the Kuchiki name by committing an act such as stealing."

"Will you please be quiet?!" Yumichika shouts. "I'm trying to admire my female self, if you don't mind!"

 **"Better yet, who the hell are you?!" The orange headed female shouted in question.**

 **"Renji Abarai, lieutenant of the sixth division." The red headed female replied.**

Renji's hand twitched dangerously towards his zanpakuto and a sneer registered on his face.

"Insolent little punk." Renji growled lowly, his anger directed at the author.

 **"But, you're not Renji." One of the orange headed males replied. "I'd know a fellow lieutenant if I saw one."**

"You obviously couldn't sense his reitsu, or you would've recognized him." Ichigo said.

"Like you're one to talk." Rukia replied, flicking him in the forehead and causing him to fall on his back.

"Why you-!"

"Shut up and deal with it." Renji snapped, then smirked. "Or are you not man enough?"

 **"Besides," the black haired male started, "Renji is my best friend, and he's a male."**

 **"What do you mean?" Renji asked. "I am a male!"**

"See?" Renji stated and motioned towards the computer. "Even fanfiction me agrees that I'm not a woman."

"The story begs to differ." Ichigo states, causing Renji to start strangling him.

"You son of a-!" Renji was then punched in the face by Ichigo, who took deep breaths of oxygen.

"What the hell?! Are you trying to kill me?!"

"Both of you need to shut up and act like men!" Ikkaku shouted at the two.

"Like that's going to happen." Yumichika states. "Those two will forever have the minds of filthy children."

 **"No, you clearly aren't because of the things residing on your chest." The white haired woman replied.**

 **"Ack!" Renji shouted as he stared down at his Chest. "I have boobs! How the hell did I turn into a girl?!"**

Rukia began to laugh and tears formed at the corner of her eyes. She clutched her stomach and knelled on the ground.

"Why the hell are you laughing?" Renji asked in dismay, his life forced seemingly sucked out of his body when those words were read aloud.

"B-Because! You would totally react that way if it really happened!" Rukia burst out, falling to the floor on her side and laughing even more. "Oh, I can see it now! Poor Renji! Hahaha!"

 **"I seem to have turned into a girl as well." The purple haired female replied, flipping her hair slightly. "Might I say, I've become even more beautiful. My boobs are even the perfect size, not like Renji's ugly large ones."**

Ikkaku and Ichigo joined Rukia on the ground and began to laugh loudly. Their joyous state made Renji go red with anger and nearly punch each and every one of them.

"Will you all just shut up?!"

 **"That's not fair!" The orange headed woman cried. "I have no boobs! I'm... I'm a Rukia!"**

Rukia's demeanor suddenly went deadly and everyone stopped what they were doing. They turned fearfully towards the petite woman and saw that her glare was directly facing the orange headed teen.

"So..." She drawled out, cracking her knuckles. "Are my boobs too small for you, Ichigo?"

Ichigo stood sweating in his position and shook his head hastily.

"N-No! I never even said that!" He shouted in fear

"Oh really?" she asked, stepping closer to him. "You may not have said it, but surely you thought of it?"

"M-Maybe?" Ichigo questioned himself, gulping loudly.

"YOU IDIOT!" Rukia shouted and lunged at him, tackling him to the floor.

 **"Shut it Kurosaki." The white haired female ordered. "I have small boobs too, so don't get so worked up about it."**

 **"Oh, Captain!" one of the orange headed females called out, bringing the white haired female into a hug. "You are just so cute!"**

"Ack! Stop it Rukia! OWWW! What the hell?!" Ichigo shouted as Rukia began to pull at his hair.

"You are the biggest idiot I've ever known! You never, EVER, talk or thing about a girls bust size! You stupid idiot!" She shouted out, proceeding to kick Ichigo where the sun doesn't shine.

"You guys fight like a married couple.' Renji commented, earning a groan of approval from Ikkaku.

 **"This feels so weird." The other orange headed male said, rubbing his legs together.**

 **"It's alright, Inoue." The black haired male said, sitting next to Orihime. "You're not the only one uncomfortable."**

 **"Thanks, Kuchiki-san." Orihime said**

"You done torturing him?' Ikkaku asked as Rukia took her position by the computer.

"The idiot is flopping on the ground like a fish, so I think he'll be that way for a while." Rukia said, pointing to the squirming and bruised man behind her.

"Damn. Remind me never to get on your bad side." Renji mumbled.

 **"Would you look at the ruckus in here." Urahara said, walking into the room of gender swapped people. "I have a room full of fairly attractive people in my shop."**

"That bastard!" Renji shouted, reaching for his zanpakuto. "I'll kill him!"

"Calm down Renji!" Rukia demanded, glaring at the red head. "You can kill him later. After i give him a piece of my mind."

 **"Tell us what you did Urahara." Toshiro growled out in a feminine voice.**

 **Urahara hid a smile behind his fan.**

 **"I did nothing. But I did come to tell you that these effects are permanent." He said cheerfully.**

 **Then everyone (except for Orihime and Yumichika) Started to attack Urahara with their zanpakuto.**

"The bastard got what he deserved." Ikkaku stated, now having the sudden urge to fight someone.

"I'll say. " Renji grumbled under his breath.

"He probably did do that to us." Rukia seethed. "How else would he know that the effects are permanent if he didn't do it himself."

"Well, well, well, Ichigo. Looks like you caught yourself in a pickle." A man said, entering through the window with a female by his side. The others turn around and Glare at him.

"Well, you're just the person I want to see." Rukia and Renji said at the same time, cracking their knuckles.


	4. Undefined in Every Sense

**There is a reason for this chapter, not just because it was requested. It's effects will end up lasting for a few more chapters! I also have a promise to fulfill, so I have my next chapter idea already thought up!**

"Did I do something wrong, Kuchiki-san, Abarai-san?" Urahara asked, moving his fan slightly downward to show the frown upon his face.

"Oh, you've done plenty." Rukia seethed, lunging forward. Renji followed suit, battle cries both escaping their lips as the used hakuda to beat some sense into the shop keeper.

"Ichigo," Yoruichi asked, bending down so that she could get a look at the teens face. "How did you find yourself on the floor?"

"Rukia put him there." Ikkaku replied, at her still questioning look, he shook his head. "Don't ask."

Yoruichi's eyes soon turned towards the computer. "Since when did you have a computer, Ichigo?"

"R-Rukia brought it here this afternoon." Ichigo stuttered, shakily trying to regain his footing. "But so far, most of us have been tortured by that thing."

"Really, how so?" Yoruichi asks, shooing Yumichika from the chair that he was in.

"Fanfiction is really dangerous, apparently." Yumichika said, flipping his hair alightly. "But I see absolutely nothing wrong with it so far. The story I just read was absolutely stunning."

"Yeah," Ichigo said, leaning against thd back of the chair. "Only because you liked the way your character was. The rest of us were tortured by it."

"Sounds interesting." Yoruichi said, begining to look through the site. "I'm going to find a story to read to you guys."

"Hey, don't break my window you idiots!" Ichigo shouted as they threw Urahara against the glass surface.

"You should listen to him," Urahara said, holding up his arms in front of him as bruises appeared all over his body. "You have no need to beat up a poor old shop keeper like me."

"Like hell we don't!" Renji shouted, and was about to attack again when he was stopped by Ikkaku.

"Both you and Rukia need to calm down." He commanded. "There's no need to fight right now."

"That's funny," Renji growled out, narrowing his eyes at the man, "coming from a squad eleven member."

Yoruichi scrolled through the site, looking over each fanfiction summary. None of them seemed to catch interest, but she did notice something when she reached a new page. It was a filter of some kind. When she clicked on it, a smirk appeared on her face. She changed the rating to M only and reloaded the page, looking at the fanfictions once again.

"You can stop fighting now." She finally called out behind her. "I think I've got the perfect fanfiction to read."

"Another one?" Rukia asked, her eyes widening as she slowly took steps towards the computer. "Is it... safe?"

"Well, let's have Yoruichi read so we can find out." Ikkaku said as they all crowded around the computer once again.

 **Caught in a Sticky Situation**

 **By: CrackPairinglol**

"What is a crack pairing?" Yoruichi asked, looking expectantly at Ichigo behind her. The teen shrugged his shoulder.

"Don't ask me, it's the first we've come across it."

 **Summary: When Yuzu brings a strawberry shortcake for Ichigo to eat, both her and Karin weren't prepared for what they heard afterwards.**

Rukia and Renji stiffled their laughter at the summary and everyone looked at them funny.

"What's so funny, Kuchiki-san, Abarai-san?" Urahara asked, a glint of amusement in his eyes as he knew the answer.

"Ichigo..." Renji said, trying to conceal his growing laughter.

"Strawberries..." Rukia finished, finally tipping them over the edge as they burst out laughing.

"How many times to I have to tell you!" Ichigo shouted in anger as he refrained from knocking some sense into the two. "My name means 'one who protects'!"

 **"Ichi-nii! " Yuzu called out, knocking on her brother's door. "I brought you some of my home made strawberry shortcake!"**

 **"Bring it in Yuzu!" Ichigo called from behind the door. Yuzu opened the door to see Ichigo sitting on his bed, studying for his upcoming finals.**

"Since when did you study?" Renji asked his orange haired friend.

"I've always studied, idiot!" Ichigo replied, glaring at the red head.

"Yeah, but with all this shinigami business and the current war, I didn't think you'd be able to study. You aren't exactly the brightest person I know."

"If you're calling me stupid, then you sure as hell better be happy that I'm currently handicapped." Ichigo growled and narrowed his eyes as he gripped the back of his chair harder. "Or I'd currently be kicking your ass two ways to Sunday!"

 **"Here you go, Ichi-nii! I saved the best piece for you!" Yuzu said happily, presenting the shortcake to her brother.**

 **"Thanks, Yuzu." Ichigo said with a small smile and took the desert from his sister.**

"Aww!" Rukia said. "This scene is almost as cute as Chappy the Rabbit!"

"I will admit that it is quite beautiful." Yumichika commented, moving his head away from the screen for a second.

"Did everyone just forget what the summary said, or something?" Urahara whispered from behind his fan, knowing Yoruichi was up to something when he saw her smirk.

 **"Hey, Ichigo!" Both siblings looked up when a new voice entered the room. Yuzu stared at the woman with wide eyes as she came through her brother's window.**

 **"Ichi-nii, who's that?" Yuzu asked, pointing at the purple haired woman. "Is she your girlfriend?"**

"Why on earth would someone go through my window when my sister is in the room?" Ichigo asked. "And how the hell can Yuzu see spirits? She's only able to faintly sense them!"

"It seems like this story is flawed." Urahara said. "Oh, well! Keep reading! I'd like to see where this kicks off too." _'Just what are you going to do, Yoruichi?'_ He thought as he recognized who the purple haired woman in the story was without the others knowing.

 **"Ahh... no." Ichigo replied, scratching the back of his neck. "Yuzu, this is an... acquaintance of mine. Yoruichi, This is my sister Yuzu."**

"Yoruichi?" Urahara finally says loud enough for everyone to hear. "I know that you know better than that."

"Well, what's life without breaking a few rules?" Yoruichi asked, flashing a smirk at the shopkeeper.

 **"Oh, okay then." Yuzu said uncertainly, but smiled nonetheless. "I guess I'll leave you to your studying, Ichi-nii. It was nice meeting you, Yoruichi-san." With that, Yuzu left her brother's room.**

 **When Karin saw her twin, the younger girl had her ear up against their brother's door. Curious, Karin walked over to her.**

"I never would've taken Yuzu to be an eavesdropper." Rukia said, gasping. "Ichigo, I think the end of the world is coming!"

"The end of the world isn't-" Ichigo started, before Rukia screeched and ran to his closet.

"Everybody hide! The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" Rukia shouted and slammed the closet door closed.

"Seriously Rukia!" Ichigo shouted at the closet. "If the sky was actually falling, then that is probably one of the last placed you'd want to hide!"

"Let her cool off, Ichigo." Renji said, laying a hand on his friends arm. "Her mental barriers are probably breaking from reading fanfiction. She'll realize soon enough that Yuzu is still an innocent little girl."

 **"Yuzu, what are you-"**

 **"Shh!" Yuzu said, bringing a finger to her lips. "A really pretty girl came into Ichi-nii's room through his window." After hearing this bit of information, Karin also began to eavesdrop on their older brother.**

"The world is coming to an end!" Rukia kept shouting from the closet. Banging could be heard from behind the closed door and Ichigo was fuming.

"Stop all of his nonsense about the world ending, you stupid midget!" He shouted at her and went towards the closet. "And what the hell are you-"

When he opened the closet, he saw Rukia with a hammer in her hand, nailing some wooden boards to the walls.

"What the hell?!" Ichigo shouted, pointing a finger at her. "Just what are you doing to my-"

"Ichigo! I have room for one more person. You have to hide!" Rukia shouted, grabbing the front of the orange headed teen'+s shirt and dragging him into the closet. Everyone stared at it for a few moments as some more pounding could be heard.

"Umm..." Ikkaku started, not comfortable with the sudden situation. "Can we just continue, please?

"Yes, please!" Yumichika stated, throwing a nasty look towards the closet. "I don't want to start imagining all of the ugly things they could be doing in there."

 **"So your sister made this for you?" They heard Yoruichi ask Ichigo.**

 **"Yeah, she's a really great cook." They heard Ichigo reply.**

"Man, Ichigo really does praise his little sisters." Ikkaku stated.

"Well, it is part of his personality," Urahara stated, "so it isn't all that new."

 **"W-Wait a minute!" Ichigo suddenly shouted, causing the twins to perk up. " W-What are you doing?"**

 **"I want to try something." Yoruichi replied, a devious pitch to her voice.**

"Is this...?" Ikkaku didn't finish his sentence but everyone else knew what he was going to say.

To this, Yoruichi smirked.

"We need to get Ichigo out here." She ordered, looking at Renji. "It will definitely be one hell of a laugh to see his reaction."

Renji nodded and went straight to the closet. He opened the door and looked inside. There, His eyes bulged because it looked like a whole new plane of existence was residing in his friends closet.

Luckily for him, Ichigo was staying close to the closet door while Rukia was still building.

"Psst! Ichigo!" Renji whispered, gaining Ichigo's attention. "Let's get you out of here." Ichigo nodded silently and began to crawl out of the closet.

"No! Ichigo! Don't go back out there!" Rukia shouted as she saw Ichigo leaving the closet. "You'll die if you do! I want at least one of my friends to survive-!"

Renji and Ichigo shut the door, cutting off the rest of Rukia's statement.

Ichigo steered clear of the door and looked at it wearily. "You have no idea what I've been through."

"Trust me." Yumichika said. "We don't want to know."

"Now, let's continue the story, shall we?" Yoruichi asked, her smirk growing to full size.

 **"S-Stop that Yoruichi!"**

"Okay!" Ichigo shouted, pointing at the screen with a blood drained face. "What the hell did I just walk into?"

"Read and find out, Ichigo." Urahara replied, hiding a smirk of his own behind the fan.

"M-Maybe I don't want to find out."

 **"Quit being so sensitive about it Ichigo." Yoruichi replied.**

 **"H-Hey! T-That's my-"**

 **"I think I know what it is Ichigo."**

 **"W-Why are you doing this? S-Stop!"**

"That's it! I'm out!" Ichigo shouted, racing towards the door. Before he could get anywhere near it, Renji shunpoed right next to him and picked up his body.

"Let me go, Renji!" Ichigo shouted and began to punch the red head in the arm.

"Is anyone else having a sense of deja vu?" Ikkaku asked as he stared at the scene.

 **"Oh, come on Ichigo." Yoruichi replied. "I just what to taste a strawberry."**

 **"B-But I'm-" Ichigo started. "NYAAGH!" He cried out in surprise, cutting himself off.**

"I don't want to listen to this Renji!" Ichigo shouted, beginning to claw at the floor. "Please, Renji! Don't do this to me!"

"Stop being a wimp and just get through this fanfiction. Then you can go cry to mommy."

Ichigo suddenly stopped struggling and glared at the red headed teen.

"In case you've forgotten, you thick headed pineapple nimrod, my mother is dead!" He shouted and twisted, tackling the red head to the ground.

 **Yuzu's and Karin's face reddened considerable as they heard their brother's shout. Karin was tempted to cover her sister's ears, but bit her lips and continued listening. The younger sibling needed to learn somehow, and anything is better than learning it from goat-face.**

 **"I-Ichi-nii..." Yuzu whispered in shock and clasped her hands over her heart.**

"Stop reading the damn story, Yoruichi!" Ichigo shouted as he continued to assault Renji. The two of them had begun a full on fist fight with each other.

"Mmm... No thanks! I think I'll keep reading." Yoruichi said and continued to read anyways.

 **"N-No, don't!" Ichigo shouted.**

 **"Mmm... I never thought strawberries could taste so sweet."**

 **"W-What the hell? D-Don't rub it all over my window!**

 **"You didn't want it all over your bed, did you?"**

 **"It's kind of too late for that now."**

"That is absolutely vulgar!" Yumichika shouted, pointing to the screen. "No matter what, dirtying any sort of this is absolutely vulgar! Especially your sisters' innocent and beautiful minds, Ichigo!"

"I didn't ruin their minds because that never happened!" ichigo shouted, punching Renji in his jaw, causing the man to spit blood on his floor. "God damn it, Renji! Look what you did to my floor!"

"Look what I did? You made me do it!"

"I have no control over your actions, damn it!"

 **Karin saw the look on Yuzu's face and knew that her sister was scarred. Rage bubbled up inside of her and she stood up abruptly.**

 **"Alright, that's it!" Karin shouted and kicked down her brother's door. What both her and Yuzu saw made them freeze.**

 **Authors note: Now it is up to you, dear reader, to think about what happens next. Use your imagination and have a nice day! And please don't forget to favorite and review!**

"Well, that's the end of it!" Yoruichi annouced as she stared at the baffled orange headed teen. He looked about ready to blow a fuse, for his face was as red as a strawberry as he stared at the computer.

"Never turn away from an opponent!" Renji shouted and punched Ichigo in the face. Ichigo scrambled back and sat on his bed, his head in his knees as a gloom cloud surrounded him.

"Did that really happen between you and Ichigo?" Ikkaku asked, pointing at the teen. Yoruichi shrugged her shoulders.

"Who knows?" She replied in a lazed tone.

"Are you and Ichigo...?" Renji asked, glancing back and forth between the Yoruichi and Ichigo.

Yoruichi just giggled and stood up. She walked over to Ichigo and had him look up at her. She plants a kiss on his cheek before grabbing Urahara's wrist.

"Bye bye Ichigo! I'll come visit you again later." She winked at him before exiting the Kurosaki Clinic with Urahara.

For a couple of seconds, nobody did anything but stare after Yoruichi. Then, without any warning, Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Renji began to laugh so hard that they fell to the floor.

"Ah, man! This is priceless!" Ikkaku stated as he continued to laugh his ass off.

"That fanfiction may have been vulgar, but what was just displayed was hilariously beautiful!" Yumichika laughed out, clutching his stomach.

"We totally need to steer clear of Ichigo's window, though." Renji stated, trying to get his laughter under control.

"Yeah, and why's that?" Ikkaku asked, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Because certain fluids have been in contact with it."

"Will you guys just shut up! None if that really happened!" Ichigo shouted, his face burning as his friends only started to laugh harder.

"What's with all of this commotion in here?" A male voice said as the male was about to enter the room through the window.

"Don't enter through the window!" Ikkaku, Renji, and Yumichika shouted, causing the captain outside of the window to stop his movements.


	5. It's Actually Falling!

The captain outside of the window stared at everyone with turquoise colored eyes, sending them a glare.

"What is the meaning of this Lieutenant Abarai, third seat Madarame, fifth seat Ayasegawa?" He asked in a demanding tone.

"Just head in through the front door and when you get inside, we'll explain to you our little theory," Renji said and watched as the child prodigy sighed in annoyance and flashed out of sight.

"Now is the only time that I'm actually going to say this," Ichigo started as he glared at Renji, "but why can't Toshiro come in through my window. It's not like it's broken or anything."

"You know why we can't let Captain Hitsugaya in through the window, Ichigo," Ikkaku replied, causing Ichigo to widen his eyes in realization as his face heated up.

"Damn it, Ikkaku! That never even happened!" Ichigo shouted and buried his face in his legs again so as to stop himself from lashing out at the bald man.

"Yoruichi made it clear that it really happened, Ichigo," Renji stated.

"She never even agreed to the question, Renji," Ichigo grumbled in dismay as a gloom cloud surrounded him.

"Yeah, but she never denied it either," Yumichika replied, running a hand through his hair.

"Abarai, you will tell me why I couldn't enter through Kurosaki's window. The window seems to be in perfect condition if you ask me," Toshiro growled out as he entered Ichigo's room via the door.

"Uh... well..." Renji started and began to scratch the back of his neck. "Um... Ichigo and Yoruichi did some things and a certain substance found its way onto the window so the residue of it might still be there."

Toshiro blushed slightly at the explination and cleared his throat. "I probably shouldn't have asked. But I must ask what all of you have been doing here in the world of the living."

"Oh, well, we've been reading something called 'fanfiction.' Basically, they're stories about us in particular."

"Not exactly," Ichigo intervened. "Rukia said there were fanfiction on other things as well. She just happened upon this category about us as she was looking for her next one."

"Oh really?" Toshiro questioned, accusation in the glare he sent around the room. "And you expect me to believe what you are saying? What if you're just making up excuses so you don't get a heavy punishment when we return to the Soul Society?"

"Well," Yumichika began, "why don't you try it out yourself and you decide whether or not to believe us?"

"But I'm warning you Toshiro," Ichigo began, casting a weary look at the computer the icy captain was now sitting in front of, "the things in those fanfictions can ruin a person."

"What are you-"

"Captain Hitsugaya!" Rukia yelled, poking her head outside of the closet door. "You must come in here, it's the only place that's safe! The sky is falling, captain! The sky is falling!"

She jumped out of the closet and tried to grab at Toshiro's arm, but he knocked it away. He looked in her eyes and saw the frantic look in them.

"Captain, you have to come into the closet! It's the only place that's safe!" Rukia pleaded. She then looked up at the cieling and gasped loudly. "Everybody, hide! It's happening, It's happening! The sky is falling! It's actually falling!" She shouted and let go of Toshiro, scrambling to the closet. "You all were great friends while you lasted! I'll miss you, then I'll be dancing on your graves saying 'I told you so!'" She shouted before closing the closet door behind her.

Toshiro cast a sidelong glance at Ichigo and sighed.

"Nevermind," he said, sighing as he stared at the glowing contraption in front of him. "Now how do I work this thing?"

"I guess I'll tell you," Ichigo said weakly, standing up from the bed and walking over to Toshiro. He explained the mechanism of the computer and allowed Toshiro to begin scrolling through the fanfictions.

"I think I'll join Kuchiki in the closet," Yumichika said, awe in his voice. Everyone turns to see him looking inside of the closet. "She made your closet very vast and beautiful. Plus, I may be able to get her in her right mind as well. Are you coming Ikkaku?"

"No thanks, I'm fine standing out here for now. No way am I going anywhere Kuchiki is when she's not in her right mind."

"Suit yourself," Yumichika said and jumped inside of the closet.

"I suppose you would like me to read aloud when I find something?" Toshiro asked from where he was sitting.

"If you want to, Captain," Renji said and looked over Toshiro's shoulder.

"Well in that case, I found one that may be interesting."

 **True Identity**

 **By: NothingMoreThanAFan**

"A fan? Who would want to be a fan?" Toshiro asked, narrowing his eyes at the screen.

"I think they mean that they appreciate something, not an actual fan captain," Ikkaku stated. "This better be good."

 **Summary: I know that you've wondered who his parents are, so I'm here to give you a oneshot of this boy and his true identity.**

"I think I might be safe from this one," Ichigo stated, sighing in relief and plopping back down on his bed.

"But most everybody in the Soul Society doesn't have parents, so it could be anyone," Renji stated.

"It's not me, I know that for sure," Ikkaku said and positioned himself to get a better look at the screen.

 **It was the end of the day and the icy captain of squad ten was rushing to get his paperwork done.**

"Guess that answers our question," Ikkaku mumbled.

"I'm so sorry about what you might encounter, Captain Hitsugaya," Renji stated, gulping.

"I don't have parents either," Toshiro mentioned. "I lived with Granny in Rukongai before I went to Shin'o Academy."

 **Surprisingly, Rangiku had finished her paperwork long ago and was waiting for him.**

"That is surprising," Renji stated, staring wide eyed at the screen.

"Now that's the lieutenant I would like Matsumoto to be, not the drunkard she is," Toshiro commented.

 **The moment Toshiro wrote the last word on the page, he shot out of the barracks.**

 **He rushed into the Rukon district, a smile surprisingly splitting his features. People greeted him as he walked by and he'd greet them back, stopping occasionally to help a few people.**

"You actually help people and smile?" Ichigo asked, shocked as he fell off the bed from the words of the story.

"I only smile when I'm in a good mood, which I hardly ever am with the war and Matsumoto never doing her paperwork," Toshiro replied. "And as a captain, I have to help out others in the Gotei thirteen."

"But what about in Rukongai?"

"Just shut up Kurosaki before I run you through with Hyorinmaru."

 **The he reached a familiar house: the one his granny used to live in. To his knowledge, his granny had moved up the districts and now the house belonged to his parents, but wasn't often used.**

"As far as I know, granny hasn't moved at all. I haven't even spoken to her in years," Toshiro growled as his eye twitched in annoyance. "What part of this is supposed to be fact, Kurosaki?"

"Um, from what we've read so far, it hasn't been too much fact yet," Ichigo replied, getting back on the bed and hanging upside down off the edge of his bed.

"It also predicts the future, apparently," Ikkaku intervened.

"Really?" Toshiro asked, his eyes widening sliightly at that. "You better mention this prediction in your report and make sure it gets to the head captain. It's probably vutal infromation.

"So damn concerned about work," Ichigo mummbled under his breath just low enough that Toshiro barely heard it.

The room dropped a few degrees as Toshiro glared daggers at Ichigo.

"Say again Kurosaki? I don't think I neard you correctly."

"Nothing, just keep reading shortie."

"Do you really want to go there, Kurosaki?" Toshiro asked, reaching for Hyorinmaru, who hummed ay his side.

"Captain," Renji started cautiously, "I'm guessing you don't want more paperwork than you already have. So it would be wise not to draw your zanpakuto."

"Your lucky, Kurosaki," Toshiro growled and looked back at the screen, removing his hand from Hyorinmaru.

 **"Mom! Dad! Are you here yet?" Toshiro called out.**

 **"We're in the kitchen, Shiro!" His mother called out.**

"We never had a kitchen!" Toshiro shouted in dismay and growled in frustration.

 **Yes, ever since the house was passed on to his parents, renovations were made. A few more rooms were added; this included two more bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen.**

"Renovations?" Toshiro growled. "I would never allow renovations to be made to granny's house if I was still living there."

"Calm down captain!" Renji stated, looking around the room.

"You've frozen half if my room, Toshiro!" Ichigo shouted, standing abruptly from his bed.

"Deal with it Kurosaki," Toshiro spat, resting a hand on his zanpakuto as he kept reading.

 **Toshiro walked to the kitchen, only to find himself suffocating in his mother's breasts.**

 **"This is just so great!" His mother shouted happily as she swueezed her son tighter. "It's been forever since we had family time!**

 **"You're suffocating him, Ran," his father said, pulling said boy away from his mother.**

 **"But Gin!"**

Before anybody could see what in the world just happened, Toshiro had already unsheathed his zanpakuto and sliced the screen in half. Everyone sat in momentary silence as the angry captain resheathed his zanpakuto.

"What the hell, Toshiro!" Ichigo shouted, picking up the broken computer. "This isn't even mine and I have no idea what Rukia's gonna do when she comes to her senses!"

"All computers in the world of the living need to be vanquished immediately," Toshiro seethed, a deadly aura surrounding him.

"C-Captain," Renji began nervously, sweat building on his brow, "it was just a story-"

"Full of false information!" Toshiro snapped, glaring at the lieutenant. "I will be reporting this incident to the head captain immediately. If any of you mention what just happened here with that horrible story, I will kill all of you with Daiguren Hyorinmaru."

He walked over to the window, getting ready to jump out when he paused. He then turned around and stomped out of Ichigo's room, slamming the orange haired teen's door.

"What are we gonna do now?" Ikkaku asked after a few moments of shocked silence.

"I don't-"

"Ichi-nii, how come I just saw Toshiro wearing strange clothes and stomping out of our house in a bad mood. Not that he's ever really in a good one. Oh, and dad bought you a computer. He told me to head on home ahead of him to give it to you."


	6. The Pineapple Brand

-INTERMISSION-

*Another Universe*

A girl walks into her bedroom after searching all over her house for her laptop without any trace of it. She sighs and plops on her bed. Just as she was about to cry over the loss of her best friend, the voice of her mother reached her ears.

"Get down here right now young missy!"

The girl grumbles under her breath before leaving her bedroom. She finds herself in the kitchen, staring incredulously at the object in her mother's hands.

"Explain to me exactly what happened here." The girl's mother demanded, holding up her daughter's banana laptop that was sliced clean in half through the screen.

"I-I don't know!" The girl cried in dismay, her eyes filling with tears. "Where did you find it?"

"On the coffee table," her mother stated, disappointed, "where you in left it."

"But it wasn't-"

"You're grounded until you can explain what happened to your laptop."

"But mom-!"

"No buts. Go to your room."

*Back with Ichigo*

"You guys see that too, right?" Karin asked as she watched sparkling particles fly into the air from the computer Toushirou sliced clean in half.

"Unfortunately, we did," Ikkaku stated and sighed, closing his eyes.

"Rukia's going to kill me when she finds out!" Ichigo shouted in horror, gripping at his hair.

"Uh, Ichi-nii, who are these people?" Karin asked, causing everyone in the room to sweat drop.

"Shouldn't that have been your first question when you walked in here?" Renji asked.

"Please, I doubt your powers of perception are any better, pineapple head," Karin replied, looking directly at Renji.

"Why you-!"

"Don't lash out on my sister, Renji," Ichigo growled, gripping the collar of Renji's shihakusho.

"Never mind, I don't really care," Karin sighed and walked over to her brother. "Anyway, here. Dad told me to give this to you, though I think it's abad idea since the last one that was apparently in here got sliced in half. Just be careful with it."

Karin handed Ichigo the computer and began to leave the room, but Ikkaku stopped her from leaving.

"Hey, you should join us in here, Ichigo's sister," Ikkaku said, "it could be fun."

"You do realize just how perverted that sounded, right?" Karin asked, glaring at Ikkaku menacingly.

"There is absolutey no way I'll allow Karin to get mixed up in what we were reading earlier!" Ichigo stated angrily.

"What are you talking about, Ichi-nii?" Karin asked, turning to walk back into her brother's room.

"See, now look what you did!" Ichigo shouted at Ikkaku in anger.

"Me? You were the one who mentioned the fanfictions first!"

"At least you didn't say that these fanfictions were apprently about all of us here."

"Damnit Renji!" Ichigo shouted and puched Renji in the head, causing the lieutenant to fall on his face.

"O-Okay... I deserved that..." Renji mumbled from the ground and sat up.

"Well, you're not getting rid of me now, I'm staying for whatever it is that you're all doing," Karin stated and sat down at the desk after grabbing the computer from her brother's hand. She opened it and turned it on, showing the pineapple logo as it started.

"A pineapple computer?" Renji asked, raising his eyebrows as he remember Karin calling him a pineapple head.

"What's with all these fruit labled contraptions in the world of the living?" Ikkaku asked, glancing at Ichigo. "Next thing we know, it'll be a strawberry brand computer."

Ichigo looked at Ikkaku and saw that the other man was looking at him while he spoke.

"Are you implying something, Ikkaku?"

"No, no, nothing at all."

"The room in the closet is big enough!" A voice shouted as a person jumped from the closet. "All of you have to get in! The sky is almost on top of us! Get into the closet everyone! The sky is falling!"

"Damnit Yumichika!" Ichigo shouted as he dodged a looney Rukia. "I thought you were going to fix the crazy personality Rukia obtained!"

"I tried, but she just wouldn't listen to reason," Yumichika said and flipped his hair.

"You could've at least tried!" Ichigo shouted and watched as Rukia clung to a flabbergasted Karin. "Now Rukia's even more crazy than normal! I won't be able to take it if Rukia stayed like this!"

Rukia let go of Karin suddenly and smiled evily at Ichigo as she cracked her knuckles.

"Oh, so you weren't lying Yumichika," Rukia seethed. "They really do think that I'm crazy."

"I never said that!" Renji defended as pointed at the orange haired teen. "Ichigo said it!"

"Wha?! Renji!" Ichigo cried helplessly as he stared at Rukia wearily.

"Sorry, you're on your own with this," Renji said, moving farther away from Ichigo.

"You complete and utterly hopeless idiot!" Rukia shouted and began beating Ichigo to a bloody pulp.

Karin just watched the scene in front of her and sighed, shaking her head.

"I'm not going to be the one to clean that up."

 **Sorry that it's both short and not that amusing, but I didn't know what to write. Requests for chapters are really appreciated by you guys!**


	7. The Fourth Wall

done?" Renji asked Rukia as she stepped away from Ichigo.

"Not yet," she said, kicking him where the sun doesn't shine, causing his to cry out in pain and curl into a ball on the floor. "Okay, now I'm done."

"Again in the berries..." Ichigo groaned as he tried to pick himself off the floor.

"That's what you get for making fun of a girl, Ichi-nii," Karin stated blandly, sitting back down in the chair.

"I wasn't making fun of her, I was stating fact!" Ichigo argued, using the bed to help him off the ground.

"Shut up, idiot," Rukia said, sighing and walking over to the new computer. "Okay, let me get back to the site..." Rukia mumbled and began typing over Karin's shoulder.

"Are you kidding me?!" Ichigo shouted from the bed, wincing in pain. "We finally get off the site and now we have to get back on? Plus, Karin is in here now!"

"Stop being such a pansy," Rukia scolded, clicking a few things on the screen. "Karin is old and mature enough. I doubt she'd let her mind succumb to something like this."

"You let yours," Ikkaku reminded.

"That's because I wasn't one hundred percent prepared for it," Rukia stated in defense before turning to Karin. "Now Karin, when you read or listen to these stories, you best not keep your mind too open. They will include us all in them and they aren't true. Well, most of them, anyway."

"I think I can handle it," Karin assured and took hold of the mouse. "So I just pick a story and read it?"

"Out loud, yes," Renji replied.

Karin nodded and started reading the first few summaries. Almost immediately, she found one.

"This one was just published not even an hour ago," Karin announced. "I know I'm going to be in it, but not who else is."

"Well, read it aloud and we'll find out," Ikkaku said.

 **Don't Sweat the Small Stuff**

 **By: WhatAREyouStArInGAT**

"Uh... the screen," Renji said, sweat dropping.

"Idiot, it's just the name they author gave himself," Karin stated, clicking the link to the story.

 **Summary : When Karin's family gets attacked by a hollow, a young Soul Reaper saves them. ICHIGO ISN'T IN THIS STORY AT ALL BECAUSE HE DOESN'T EXIST HERE!**

"Oh, thank Kami!" Ichigo shouted, relief flowing over him and he flopped back on the bed.

"Attacked by a hollow? What's that?" Karin asked, turning to look at everyone in the room.

"Just a giant ugly monster with a bone mask that wants to eat the souls of people with high spiritual pressure," Yumichika explained.

"What's spiritual pressure?"

"Just keep reading the story and you might find out," Rukia encouraged.

 **Karin was sitting in her room, looking up at the ceiling with a bored expression.**

 **" I wish something exciting would happen, " she whispered to herself. " It's just so damn boring lately. "**

 **She looked over to her window and saw the bright, full moon in all its glory. Then, a shadow appeared and came into her room.**

"Ummm... Ichigo?" Rukia asked. "Doesn't this sound a bit like...?"

"Yeah," Ichigo stated, sitting up slowly and glancing over at the group wearily. "It sure does."

"You don't think that..."

"Maybe. If I'm not there, something could happen to them."

"What are you guys talking about?" Renji asked, looking over at the two.

"The day and the way that Ichigo and I met," Rukia answered.

 **" I'll be able to intercept the hollow if I wait here, " the figure stated. "it doesn't seem to be causing much trouble and it's headed this way. "**

"Okay, never mind, that's not me," Rukia stated. "That's not at all what I said when I came."

"Yeah, it was something like, 'it's near,' or whatever," Ichigo replied. "Wasn't some long phrase."

"I thought you and Rukia met at school when she moved as a transfer student, then asked to live with us?" Karin questioned.

"Uh... well... you see-" Ichigo started, but was cut off by Rukia.

"Of course that's how it happened!" She replied cheerfully, moving and elbowing Ichigo in the stomach to keep him quiet. "It's not like I saved him from death or anything!"

"You're horrible at lying," Renji mumbled, only to be elbowed by Rukia.

 **" Excuse me, who the hell are you and what are you doing jumping through someone's window like that? " Karin asked, standing from her bed and crossing her arms in front of her.**

 **The figure ignored her and looked at a phone he pulled from his uniform.**

"It's not a phone!" Rukia snapped. "It's a soul pager!"

 **" Hey, I'm talking to you! " She pressed, gripping the boy's arm and roughly turning him to look at her.**

 **" Hm? You can see me? " The boy asked, looking at her.**

 **" Why wouldn't I be able to?" Karin asked. " You came in through my freaking window! "**

"You shouldn't even be able to see these guys," Ichigo commented, groaning. "It's like we're in a fanfiction of our own, or something!"

"I highly doubt that," Rukia stated. "Karin has been spiritually aware, she can probably see us because her spiritual powers are growing."

"You guys are making no sense," Karin interupted. "You mean to tell me that you guys are spirits?"

"Let's not talk about that right now," Ichigo interjected quickly, standing up and trying to make it over to the computer. Instead, he fell to the ground and clenched his nether region. "Damn it!"

"You still haven't recovered from that?" Renji asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Did Rukia bust a nut or something?"

"Shut up Renji!" Ichigo shouted, his face turning red in embarrassment.

 **" As interesting as this is, there isn't much time to talk, " the boy said, ripping his arm from her grasp and turning his teal eyes back to the cell phone in his hands.**

"Again with it being called a cell phone," Rukia deflated.

"Some authors just don't learn," Yumichika stated, a disgusted look crossing his features.

 **" It's here, " the boy stated, closing the phone and turning back to the window. He reached for the sword on his back and unsheathed it, jumping from the window.**

 **" Where are you going? " Karin asked, running to the window. " Hey!" She shouted as she saw him land on the ground and race towards the front of the clinic.**

"Hey, uh, has anyone else wondered just who the soul reaper that Karin encountered is?" Ichigo asked from the ground.

"Now that you mention it," Ikkaku intervened, "it wasn't said who he was at all. All of these guessing games are becoming a pain in the ass."

"And you aren't?" Karin asked.

"What would you know?" Ikkaku questioned, angered by the nerve Karin had.

"You sounded like a pervert when you invited me to stay and you seem like thd kind of guy who would beat up everyone to get what he wants."

"You know, Ikkaku," Yumichika began, "she does have a point."

"Who's side are you on?!" Ikkaku shouted in Yumichika's face.

 **Karin ran out of the room, racing down the hallway and frightening Yuzu who was sweeping the hallway.**

 **" Karin!" Yuzu called in surprise and watched as her older twin sister raced towards the door and left the house. " I wonder what she's up to."**

"She's probably about to get herself a boyfriend," Renji snickered, enticing Ichigo to knock him upside the head. "What the hell?!"

"Shut up, will you?" Ichigo argued. "It's not like she thinks he looks good or anything. Whoever the guys is."

 _ **He looks fucking sexy swinging that sword.**_ **Karin thought to herself as she watched the boy swiftly maneuver around a giant monster and slice off its arm.**

Renji snickered into his hand. "Well the story begs to differ."

"Karin..." Ichigo began, giving his sister a pointed look.

"What?!" She asked. "I don't even like any boys. Plus, I don't even talk like that! The stupid author doesn't get my character at all!" She shouted in anger.

"What did I tell you, Karin?" Rukia asked, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder.

Karin glared up at her before sighing, shaking her head.

 **She continued to watch as the man pivoted mid step and jumped, slicing directly across the mask of the giant monster. He landed on the ground without injury, placing his sword back in its shealth on his back,**

 **He turned to look at the girl who he met a few minutes ago. He glared at her, annoyed by the ogled look she was sending him.**

 **" Stop looking at me like that!" He finally snapped. " It's starting to creep me out!"**

"Way to make a guy not fall for you," Renji commnted, earning a glare from Karin in return.

"And ogling someone is quite repulsive," Yumichika commented. "No wonder he's creeped out."

"I guess the author's name could be considered something they added in here," Ichigo added.

"Will all of you just shut up!" Karin shouted. "If anything, it won't be the stupid story that's going to creep into my mind, it will be the annoying comments all of you insist on making. Besides, if I was looking for a boyfriend, don't you think I would have had one already?"

"Well-" they all began simultaneously.

"Nevermind, don't answer that," Karin sighed, turning to finish the story, hoping to get this over with soon.

 **" O-Oh, sorry, " Karin stuttered, composing herself. "Uh, thanks, I guess. "**

 **" What for? " The boy asked, pulling out his phone to check for something.**

 **" Protecting my family from whatever that monster was, " Karin replied in a dull tone.**

 **" Don't sweat the small stuff, " the boy said, walking away.**

"At least we know what the title refers to," Ichigo sighed, scratching the back of his head and slowly moving to a standing position.

"Is that it?" Renji asked, baffled as he moved to look directly at the screen. "We still don't know who the boy that Karin was hooked on is."

"I'm not hooked on anyone!"

 **" Hey, wait! " Karin shouted, causing the boy to stop and turn around. " I never got your name."**

 **He only gazed at her a moment before turning around and slowly walking away while replying.**

 **" Captain Hitsugaya, " the boy replied before quickly flash stepping away, leaving Karin staring in wonder where he was standing moments before.**

Ichigo was seething in anger, a few blood vessels making themselves clearly visible for all to see.

"Damn you Toshiro..." Ichigo growled, his eyes gaining a dangerous glint.

"It was Toshiro?" Karin asked. "I cant remember if I've ever seen him hold a sword."

"At least he isn't here now, or he'd be freezing this place over with Hyorinmaru," Rukia commented, sighing in relief at the thought.

"When will we get to one that's actually real and serious?" Ikkaku asked, sighing to himself. "I'm getting kind of bored. I want some real action to happen!"

"You want some action?" A new voice asked. "Then Kurosaki better get his ass out here! I'm ready to kill him and get rid of that damn look in his eyes!"


End file.
